Joy!

I love the word joy. It is a word that seems to bring to mind the very act of living in divine harmony with the universe. A student of mine in class today has the benefit of being named Joy. How great is that? She can truly live in Joy 24/7! There is a sense of wonder in having a name that resonates so beautifully to happiness and peace.
Here are some definitions of joy:
The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation, a state of happiness or felicity.

What could be more satisfying than living a joyful life? And why is it that we do not do this more often? We tend to lament about the awful things, the bad experiences, and what is missing, instead of living in joy.

Animals really show us a state of blissful joy when they wag their tails and offer us their soft heads to pet and stroke. They know how to live with joy in every moment. There is no tomorrow, no deadlines , no irritating relative they must deal with at the holidays!

I offer my gratitude for having witnessed the expression of joy inherent in the faces of children laughing with delight, or a grandmother upon seeing the faces of her grandchildren at the door.

Joy can be chosen at every moment.

Ah to be lucky enough to say your name is one of Joy!

Would you be prepared?

At the risk of sounding like an alarmist, I am going to bring up a question that was also queried by friend Taj on her Zaadz blog. It is not posted to inspire FEAR, or elicit people to ask me to not focus on manifesting this in our lives. I am not trying to manifest anything but good in the lives of all of us. This threat is a very real thing, and we all need to be prepared and have a plan.I am not a fan of the media and their scare tactics. Red, Orange alerts! Biological warfare, etc. I am however realistic. I lived in a time of the atomic bomb scares of the 1960's and the nuclear war possibilities of later times, including now.We live in troubled times. I had written a blog several days ago about fear or prudent thinking, with the banks collapsing and mortgage industry undergoing problems. There is also a vey real possibility we will face terrorist attacks in our cities, and these will affect transportation, our water supply and other vital things we take for granted in our world.Tell me to stop thinking about this very real possibility as I am manifesting my reality…sorry, I am going to prepare myself as have for over 17 years now, in case of catastrophe.For instance, do you have any cash available stashed that it not in a bank. ATM's may not work in times of trouble. Do you also have anything you can barter, like silver or jewels? Do you have a good stock of canned goods in the pantry? How about water, a good medicine kit, batteries, candles, matches, and other items you might need if there were a hurricane?Do you have an evacuation plan, a safe place to meet, a way to contact relatives? If you realize that people have left home one morning and died on the way to work, can you see we all need some sort of planning, even though it may not fit every scenario?A friend of mine refused to talk about what she wanted in the event of her death as she was too young and did not want to “think about that stuff”. When she died everything wound up tied up and her kids fought and fought about what it is she would want. Writing a will would have taken care of it.As to the spiritual side of a disaster occuring, I believe we are meant to be whereever we are when something happens and there will be a great need for people who live simply and have undergone previous hardships to help the others who will be unable to cope with life as they find it. If there is no gasoline, there will be no fresh food, for instance.Without being a doom and gloomer I do believe Taj's blog and this one are important to remind us that we cannot remain complacent. Some say we are overdue for such tragedies. I certainly hope this never happens, but I want to be prepared in case it should occur. At least have the things I need for several weeks (if not months) to get through the times.To remain ignorant due to fear, or to believe fear inspires me to write this is plain nonsense. It is empowerment and an opportunity to prepare oneself in the event of swift life altering events.Loving light and empowering discernment to all!Aley

Stars in Maine

After midnight. Starlight. Never before have I seen so many stars. Living in a metropolitan area disconnects you from father sky. So many artificial lights, you can rarely see the even the moon at times.

August 21, 2007, Camden Hills State Park, Maine. Cool, maybe 50 degrees tops. Sleeping in a tent close to the earth mother, and sitting under a bed of stars…I am drawn to a group of them and later am told they are the Pleides. They cluster together and hum. There is serenity and joy in this extraordinary moment. Awash in scintillating beauty, luminescent orbs connecting me to the heavens. Where have the stars been? Lost in a sea of Edison’s manifestation of energy!

Who am I but a tiny glimmer of shadow lost in a sea of humanity. Light dim by comparison. Hush, listen to the quiet. There is none by the spirit in me that sees the munificent beauty of the now moment. I speak a silent prayer to the ancestors, who by their now choices, bring me to mine.

Why do we seek the solace of nature to find a reconnection, a grounding to the source? There is a resonance to the land, one that calls and asks us to see that which we do not connect to in daily communion.

I turn, sad to leave the blanket of stars offering me a glimpse of the universe in a single view. My gratitude uplifts me and in silence I remain curious. The world spins on, and time moves into the bountiful new now.

Fear or Prudent Thinking?

Fear vs being prudent.

Where is the fine line between appearing “sky is falling” fearful and discerning prudence? For example, if there is a car careening toward you down the road, do you move out of the way, or say to yourself: “I am not afraid that car will hit me!”

Right now, for instance, the financial markets and stock exchange are going haywire all over the world. Some analysts say we are in the worst decline since the crash of 1929. The mortgage markets are liquidating, just ask some people here who work in the industry how many people have lost their jobs. True, these things are cyclic…but do we also ignore information because to listen would have us live in perceived fear?

I think there is too much judgment by others claiming people live in fear. When others show a lack of diligence as to what it is they choose to show concern for because they think: “it cannot affect me”, I become a bit frustrated. I had a friend lose $100K in her 401K account a few years ago because she chose to ignore the “car careening”(market plunge) toward her. There needs to be some kind of balance between all out fear, and taking the time to investigate the changes.

True, all things change. But why is it humans have the propensity to ignore some change and embrace others, often to their detriment? To merely state: “things change” when information is provided to the contrary, irks me. My own mother refused to go to a doctor because she wanted to wait until hers returned from vacation, and dropped dead from a heart attack in 1988. Not a wise decision. Her choice, her path but it affected many others. And yet prudence would tell her that f she had arm pain and labored breathing, there might be a good reason to go.

Curiosity brings me to ask others their opinions on this question. My past conditioning was one of fear, then ignorance, but now it is prudence. I cannot control many things in my life, but I do not need to remain in the dark either. Given enough warning, I can move out of the way of a out of control car coming at me!

I’ve also learning by jumping into the fire and believing something would not affect me, only to devastate me later! This has led me to work through my feelings about all things with care to investigate all sides of an issue…especially if given some advance notice!

How can we balance the fear and the prudence?

How can we stop others from judging our way of doing something as wrong or being viewed as alarmist? (A conundrum indeed).

Walking the fine line between Henny Penny” Sky is falling” fear and not being an ostrich with our head in the sand!

By the way…someone compromised our paypal this week to the tune of $475. It is being investigated….

Are we fearful now you ask?

No, just prudently cautious!

Heart Centered Living

I know there are people in the world that do not either understand a heart-centered approach to living, or do not wish to operate from that vantage point. From what I ascertain some people prefer a more integrated scientific approach. All paths to understanding are welcome on the path to learning.

I have considered myself an intellectual for many years and from a societal viewpoint felt this was the equivalent to being intelligent. But I have come to realize spiritual understanding, at least for me, needs to be more heart centered. Those who do not understand this believe it may be “woo-woo” or touchy-feely new age stuff…it really is nothing of the sort! It is the way of wisdom gleaned from teachers over time.

I awakened more to the concept of the difference between intelligence and intellect when reading Hindi mystic Osho’s work explaining the fundamental differences. Science must always utilize logic in order to prove its reasoning, while humanitarian study gives more credence to intuition, sensory perceptions and spiritual ideals.

Intelligence is accessible to anyone, while intellectualism is deemed to be more of a regurgitation of the ideas of others without thought to the ideas of ones self. To discount heart-based intelligence is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Intellectualizing as a total approach to thinking removes critical analysis based on accumulated life experience.

I do not want to change another’s way of dealing with their learning, as we all need to come to our own conclusions. I do however invite others to be open more to possibility rather than needing to find evidence from some book or source to prove something. If the ideas do not resonate, so be it. But allowing oneself to be open to the ideas and a more intuitive way of approaching them, provides another opportunity for growth on the paths we are traveling on the roads of our lives.

Finding your own answers

When I was a young person I often would ask my parents or my teachers how to spell a word, or to define the meaning of a word. More often than not, I was admonished to get the dictionary and look it up! This frustrated me to no end because I already had told the grown up I did not know how to spell it! I was then told instructed to sound out the first few letters and go from there to look it up. I would go off in a huff instead and try to find someone else to ask. It was easier to get the answer from someone else!

I went back to college in 1995 to work on my Master’s degree. I had been out of school for many years and was astounded how much easier it was to get information for papers with new technology the world had invented. In my undergraduate years I had to use a library card file and it took hours to find anything of value. Libraries carried “The Readers Guide to Periodicals” to look up old magazines for use as sources and then had to ask the librarian to go get these dusty old resources from the stacks in the cellar of the library. More often than not, the magazine was missing, or did not contain what we thought. The energy expended to get the information by both parties was often unrewarded.

As a graduate student, I was given a plethora of choices to obtain information and tools that made some of the work instantaneous. All around me I heard complaints from younger students that it took too darn long to research anything and that they wanted to be given the information without any work on their part. I on the other and, was in a mystical state, finding the search for the answers almost as interesting as the assignment. I was given the opportunity to make meaning out of not only a research subject, but the process of finding meaning in the construction of the work.

Now, I offer my students the opportunity to construct meaning in their papers by creating meaning in their lives with what they have learned. They are given a free option of choosing a creative piece of work in order to ascertain what reading meant the most to them. Most of the time, they have no idea what to do! I tell them what the guidelines are and then I ask them to: Find it out for yourself. Look it up. Think about it. Figure it out for yourself! Have fun!!!

But…they whine…what if I am WRONG??? We are all conditioned to fear being wrong about anything. We don’t speak up, we fear reaching out, wanting answers instead from well informed experts. We are afraid to access our own intelligence. We want to be told what to do. It is easier that way. Then we do not need to think. We just need to do. We are not responsible then if we are wrong either. That is what we were told what to do after all. In his book: Intelligence, Osho reminds us that we miss utilizing our own selves as a resource in the hurry to get the answer from someone else. We miss out on using our own inborn intelligence because we are obsessed with the idea of right and wrong answers.


I can attest to having been caught up in this way of thinking at times. But honestly most of the times I have come to wrong conclusions or decisions about something have been powerful growth opportunities for me. There is no wrong, there is only learning. After all, if we do not risk trying something we end up staying stagnant in our growth, and we then have things happen “to us” not “by us”, so we must grow one way or another, one as victim, the other as creator!

The internet has made it easy for us to take shortcuts to find answers to things. We don’t have to rely on our own wisdom, we can go to search engines to do the work for us. But we lose a significant part of our life’s mission. To learn and grow with our own minds and thoughts is to attain wisdom. And sharing that knowledge is the key, as long as it is not forced, or with the expectation of leading someone to not come to their own conclusions about how they lead their lives.

The Buddha admonished others to not follow anyone, to be a light unto ones-self. We often get so frustrated because we are in a hurry to enlighten ourselves. We need to finish up one thing or another in order to move onto the next thing: Degrees, jobs, lives. We spend so much time projecting ourselves into the future, we forget to nourish ourselves in the moment. We ARE enlightened already! We have the intelligence to forge our own paths, but we sometimes do not have the courage to use it.

Osho reminds us: “Whenever you forget all about the past and future and the present moment takes possession of you, when you are utterly possessed by the moment, you will feel rejuvenated. Why? The split disappears, the split created by the ideals. You are one in that moment, integrated.”

I have experienced the transcendence of which Osho writes when I have focused only on the now, the today moment. There is an energy in the presence of the present. There is also a release of a need to control anything, and an understanding that control is not possible anyway. Life will be what it will be…all in perfect order.

The Buddha defines wisdom as living in the light of your own consciousness and defines foolishness as following or imitating others, according to Osho. Allow yourself the freedom to choose your own destiny, your own responses and integration of your own intelligent wisdom to define what your life will manifest. And be the light unto yourself in your own world.

Dorothea smiles

She only had fifteen minutes left. Fifteen minutes. Shifting her legs, she finished wiping down the beaded sheet of glass left moist by the Windex. She bent down and picked up the paper towel roll from the floor and returned it to the rolling work cart. Seeing the towel rack needed replenishing she stooped to get fresh neatly folded towels from her stash. The faint odor of beach filed her nostrils as she laid them on the stainless steel shelf above the toilet.

Turning, she noticed a piece of paper on the floor that had fallen from the bureau and against the wall. Reaching down to get it, a green color fell out of the hotel stationary and onto the floor. It was $50.

Dorothea stepped back and was unsure of what to do next. Picking up the $50 bill, she held both items in her hand as she went over to sit in the seat by the window. Pulling her glasses out of her pocket, she read the paper and determining the message was indeed for her.

Hello and thank you!

I travel all over the world and stay in many hotels far and wide. Last night I arrived in this room after a difficult flight and a message from my boss that I had lost my job. I was in agony. What would I do now? I went through many agonizing hours, trying to figure out how to tell my family, how to pay my bills, how to face my friends. My job was my life! What now?

I fell asleep for awhile and cried. I thought about the inequity in the world, the savage horrors, how I would now live my life. When I awakened I saw a little card on the bureau that read:

This room has been cleaned and prepared for your comfort by: Dorothea.

It occurred to me, maybe for the first time that someone or something would prepare a place for me. I have seen many hotel workers who work hard to earn money in their lies with little reward. I became aware that signs along the away can instruct us if we but take the time to read them and be aware.

I am leaving $50 for you, I wish it were more, but I hope this helps and reminds you that your work is appreciated by thousands of guests that come through this hotel every year.

Brotherly love,

James




Dorothea was stunned. Many times she had felt alone, thinking no one cared or noticed the care she took to provide others with a clean room for a weary traveler.

A tear fell from her eyes, now her boys would be able to eat breakfast. Then this was the place where Dorothea smiled.

Dark Night of the Soul

The dark night of the soul
Comes just before the revelation.

When everything is lost and all seems darkness,
Then comes a new life,
And all that is needed.

Joseph Campbell



Joseph Campbell has been a wonderful inspiration to me. Through his books and his video tapes, I have been able to place my life into perspective many times. In the compendium A Joseph Campbell Companion, I have re-read many times his take on the ending of relationships. He indicates the pain we feel as an overload of projection. It is the idea of everything having meaning only by its fulfillment in the other. We cannot help narrowing our focus when we get involved in a commitment with someone else.

The healing can be much harder than the original hurt, Campbell says, but one can survive it and find the ability to find a larger base from which to draw. Each commitment we have is a “narrowing” of ones-self. When a relationship ends, we have to work to get back to our base of operation where we can gain the strength to carry ourselves forward. This requires moving into the pain, which makes us very uncomfortable. That’s why people try to assuage the pain with pills, alcohol or work. We seek anything to occupy ourselves from working through the issue at hand.

Campbell says he found a quote by Nietzsche that clarified the issue and helped him through a dark painful time. “Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say: “This is what I need”. It may look like a horrible wreck of a time, but if you look at it as a challenge, an opportunity for growth, you have the chance to improve your life.”

Looking back upon your life one sees that in great moments of perceived failure, followed by intense pain and/or heartache, we have landed right where we were meant to be! We are now at that place where we chose to be, these events shaped the life we are living right now. If you can think this way, then nothing can happen to you that is not positive.

And that is the lesson I re-learned yesterday.

Innocence

“Doe a deer, a female deer”

I love fawns. I love the spots they have on their backs and their soft wet noses. I love their spindly little legs and their tiny little tails.

Growing up, my parents would take me to Maine and we would visit “York Wild Animal Kingdom” Reflecting upon it as an adult I think it is a travesty to put animals into captivity and ask them to be put on show. Then however, I loved the experience of getting a handful of deer corn from the bubble gum type machine for 5 cents and letting the fawns eat from my 5 year old hands. Old home movies record me dressed in my 1960’s style corduroy pants (with matching hat and coat) holding out my hand in delight as these precious creatures would angle for the bounty of my offering.

Mommy would call my name and I would turn to look at daddy busily recording my every move on his Kodak movie camera. The images locked in faded color of little animals, now long gone and my delight at their attention to my meager fare. My hand would reach through the fence petting their soft heads while secretly wishing I could wrap my arms around their necks in a loving child’s embrace.

Deer have always been my totem animal. Full of grace and lithe of movement their keen sense of instinct makes it difficult to capture the wild ones on film. When I was a child and my dad decided to become a hunter, he went out to the woods in the fall a few years in a row. Each time before he left I worried he might spot a deer and kill it, but daddy later admitted he would never have been able to do such a thing, even if one had ever been seen. He used to say he was a real “softie” and knew it would hurt me tremendously if he killed one of these beautiful creatures.

Memories fade, but can also remind us of innocence.

Last year Keith and I were working on the property which backs up to a protected wildlife area. One day while standing in the office, we spotted a mother doe jumping from behind the trees and across the driveway into the woods on the opposite side. Behind the doe, two spotted fawns followed leaping across to catch up with their mummy. It was a true gift of beauty. I had the feeling I had as a child, wishing to have my arms around their beautiful necks in embrace.

Deer must be aware of their surroundings at all times. Their keen sense of their environment, the ability to make quick decisions, the beauty and grace of their movements and a loving, innocent character are symbols of beauty to me.

A return to innocence: the blessing of maturity.

A Summers Day

A Summers Day

The light flickered into my bedroom window announcing the beginning of the new day. Outside a mother bird prepares the morning feast of fresh worm for her newborn chicks huddled in the nest assembled in the gutter on the fringe of the roof.

I await the kiss of my love, bustling in the bathroom, readying for his morning’s work. I wait, and soon he greets me with outstretched arms and bristled face, against my sleep soaked skin. We renew our devotion and begin the new day.

The dog, limping from some self inflicted malady of movement greets me with her deep brown eyes, asking for her morning chew treat. It is a ritual, and I cannot dismiss the well intentioned reminder as she sweeps her tail left to right in anticipation.

Pouring a cup of freshly brewed coffee, I saunter to the back of the apartment to open myself to the flowered offering that awaits my gaze. Stepping gingerly off from the step to the patio, I find a rocking chair that awaits my arrival, sun streaking warmly upon my skin. I sit, as the dog finds a spot to settle down near the chair side ever vigilant of her mistress’s command.

It is warm, but the breeze makes it less humid and above the rooftops not a cloud graces the sky. How marvelous and rich the morning sun glistens off the dew drops left on the flowers, shining bring rainbows of promise and pleasure. I sit and wait, fully aware of my life and the blessing to again see a new day.

The tinkle of the chimes signals a wind shift, and I am reminded of angels who hover so closely and acknowledge their presence with musical tones. There is a song playing softly in my head, an offering from Beethoven to his Immortal Beloved, to whom he never was able to love. The song: Piano Sonata #8 in C Minor, Op 13 “Pathetique”

I am reminded of the note Beethoven leaves his love:

“My angel, my all, my very self….my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting learn whether or not fate will hear us-I can live only wholly with you or not at all….Be calm-love me-today-yesterday-what tearful longings for you-you-you-my life, my all-farewell. –Oh continue to love, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. Ever thine………ever mine…..ever ours.”

The beautiful words of love you this summer’s day….

Transcending Spiritual Walls

Tonight I received a call from a colleague who called me to express his melancholy over his young protege moving on, off to graduate school at his alma mater far away. My friend was feeling a loss a father would feel when he sees his son off to a new adventure. The protege has only excitement burning and an eager desire to move on, and has no understanding of the multitude of emotions his mentor feels about his leaving.A 58 year old bachelor with no children by choice, my colleague is left wondering if the decisions he made in his life were really the most desirable. He is a stoic, a man of classical training, not one to give way to emotions, awash in sadness, unable to process the immensity of his sorrow. He feels silly, I tell him it is normal, he loves the young man like a son.

The intensity of our lives continues as we age and move into an elder role. We see those stages of our lives as stepping stones to our growth, and as we watch the others behind us move into their chosen paths, we cannot help but feel a loss, a sadness or a yearning to break free fom the constrictions imposed by our perceived limitations.As we end our conversation his voice cracking and revealing a sense of reflection and sorrow, indicates something profoundly telling of my friends state of mind.

He tells me he would give up a year of his life to be able to have supper one more time with his parents, long dead and cold in their graves. I concur.When you are an elder you realize with amazing clarity the brief moment we call our lives. You see the past with great clarity and the moments you were not aware that time was passing by and you took those your loved for granted, thinking there would always be another day to spend together. And you watch the younger with some sadness, knowing they too might feel the same way, when you too are long dead. The sadness a reminder of a time shared, dreams realized and the moment of parting.

My friend has softened and ripened over the past year. No longer a crusty professor who finds his students children, he has seen the joys and sorrows of being a parent in his association with his protege. He has grown in love, and become more in touch with his feelings and his mission in life. Now watching his young friend leave, he remembers that day many years before, he was the young man on his way to graduate school alone.

“How did you do it?” He asked me near the end of the conversation. “How were you able to be a parent and let them go? ” his voice wavering in emotion.There is a new understanding now between us, a spiritual growing process he has made and transcended from his staunch overidentification with his Catholic roots. He is more accepting of the idea now that things happen for a reason….and he says: “you know this is a very Buddhist idea, isn't it?”

I smile and agree.

And suddenly my friend and I aren't so very different anymore.

We have shared love.

Make Your own Kind of Music

Bringing your heart and soul to a blog is no easy task and not for the faint-hearted. It has taken some intestinal fortitude to open my life to scrutiny, even in answering the daily QAR. I’ll admit, some days are better than others. And I have also found that I am not the only person undergoing the not so pleasant reaction’s from others due to allowing the soul to be bare to the world.

In the past I have encountered a lot of resistance from people in my life when I do something that appears to go against my general way of doing things. For instance, if I am either having a bad day or feeling low, people tend to be very confused and uncomfortable with my energy, it is odd to them, as usually I am upbeat and positive.
I’m just a human however!

For the most part, I live in a state of peace in my life. I find it enjoyable to write how I see my process and how others may benefit, if they so choose, by being either more positive or aware that negativity can bring more of same to them. I have no agenda to change anyone or anything. I just write from my heart.

The key message appears for me to not be overly concerned what others “think” or “believe” or “feel”, but that I love myself, and my intention is always to aspire to be a better person, not harm anyone else and spread light when I can. I am a complex work in progress and will continue to be until I transition out of the earth plane!

The other day I found a song that still speaks to me today, maybe even more than the time it as released. It is that old Mama Cass song:“Make Your Own Kind of Music”. Not only is it a catch song, but the lyrics are dead on and is my mantra for today.

Nobody can tell ya;There's only one song worth singin'.

They may try and sell ya,'cause it hangs them upto see some
one like you.

But you've gotta make your own kind of music

sing your own special song:

make your own kind of music

even if nobodyelse sings along.

So if you cannot take my hand,

and if you must be goin',

I will understand.

You're gonna be knowing

the loneliest kind of lonely.

It may be rough goin',

just to do your thing's

the hardest thing to do.

But you've gotta make your own kind of music

sing your own special song,

make your own kind of music

even if nobody else sings along.

So if you cannot take my hand,

and if you must be goin',

I will understand.

You gotta make your own kind of music

sing your own special song,

make your own kind of music

even if nobody

else sings along.


What matters is how we feel about ourselves. How comfortable we are with our own truth, that we love ourselves even though we may not be accepted by everyone. And that we sing our own special song….even if nobody else sings along…

Have a blessed day each and every one of you…sing your sing loud and with joy.

I’m going to sing mine that way today! And always.